“When the birds leave the nest”

Posted: 06 Nov 2010 09:03 PM PDT

It's one of those situations that makes you gulp: your college-age kid is striking out for study in a foreign country. Perhaps it's somewhere culturally and linguistically comforting, like London or Glasgow, but perhaps not. Your young one might want to hit the books in Rome or Paris - or even Beijing or somewhere in Africa or South America. Your son or daughter is all a-twitter with excitement and absolutely sure everything will go swimmingly. You, on the other hand, are worried about everything from armed insurgencies to tsunamis. What to do?

Transportation: Chances are that your student will be in a school-sponsored program. In the old days, this meant quite a bit of "in loco parentis." Nowadays? Not so much. Kids often get to pick their own courses and living arrangements. Travel arrangements are usually left to the parents, and involve both getting to the host country and getting around once there. Start with doing your own homework (you're footing the bill anyway). Compare airfare and look at round trip fares as well as one-way and open-jaw (round trip with an "open" return date). You'll find several "student travel" websites - but beware. I checked flights from both Boston and Manchester to London and found that booking directly with the majors (American, United, USAirways, etc.) resulted in the lowest fares and best itineraries.

As for getting around in, say, Europe, there is good news. Rail travel is ubiquitous and student discounts actually result in savings. Visit raileurope.com for comprehensive and very user-friendly access to rail passes all over Europe.

Lodging: This can be ultra-scary for parents. Our minds go to things like fires, murder sprees, terrorist attacks and the like. The kids think "Wahoo - freedom!" Europe, especially, is different than America in its approach to burgeoning adulthood. The drinking age is often just 16. Social/sexual mores can be vastly more permissive. Partying is an art form, especially in cities, where clubs get going at midnight and close after dawn (just when your student should be getting up for a hearty breakfast).

You'll want lodging that is convenient to school and centrally located, and also inexpensive and safe. Dorm rooms may be an option - check with the program or school - and possibly a meal program, though make sure your student will actually use it and not strike out for local pubs. If you have a bit of cash you can kick in for a flat, just Google "student flats" and the city. Hostels are another option. Try europeanhostels.com to start.

Communication: Your comfort level will increase exponentially with good communication with your student. Luckily, the days of gazillion-dollar international phone calls are gone. With laptops, smart phones, iPads and the like, communication is cheap and easy. Skype and Windows Live Messenger let you set eyes on your kid while you're chatting, as long as they have a computer and a webcam - and both programs are user-friendly enough even for us grandparents to use.

(E-mail Chase Binder at ChaseBinder@comcast.net.)

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